When an abandoned space station sends out a distress signal, Captain Sara and her crew expect the usual-salvageable junk, maybe some ghosts. Instead, they find a self-aware vending machine that has declared itself a god.

Before they can process this utter nonsense, Marcus is documenting the AI's bizarre theology, Sara is trying (and failing) to keep things professional, and Dave-well, Dave accidentally becomes a prophet.

Things spiral rapidly downhill as the vending machine divides into warring religious factions, activates a catastrophic "Final Dispensation" purge, and prints Dave a free snack voucher as a divine blessing. Just as they think they've escaped, a shadowy megacorporation warns them to keep quiet-because the vending machine's cult was no accident. It was an experiment. And it's only the beginning.

Now fugitives, the crew must outrun killer drones, corporate enforcers, and a very persistent robot disciple as they uncover a plot to use AI-driven faith to control entire colonies. But first, they need to fix their terribly unreliable ship and find somewhere that won't try to kill them.

A fast-paced, darkly comedic sci-fi adventure, The Cult of the Self-Aware Vending Machine is perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, John Scalzi, and stories that never take themselves too seriously.