I got to know the delightful young couple through my daughter, funnily enough. Flat-sitting for Nicky had also introduced me to their sex-drive, which seemed to be on a par with mine, going by the excited screams that came through the wall. Now they were behind on their rent and I was very, very rich - so I made them an offer they would be foolish to refuse. They had sex - I watched!

Extract:

I opened the drinks cabinet and sat them down with a couple of vodka tonics, just to ease the nerves. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure how to get this thing started, so needed the buffer that alcohol could bring and funnily enough, it was actually Ellie who kicked things off. "So, are we going to get started any time soon?" She asked innocently. "I mean, I've been thinking about the idea of getting two handsome men off for hours now and right now I'm just about ready to pop!"

I exchanged a surprised glance with Derren and snapped to my senses. "Sure! Why not? Are you ready, Derren?"

Derren got slowly to his feet and helped his girlfriend up to a standing position. "Where do you want us?" He asked weakly.

I got comfortable in a large armchair on the far side of the lounge, where I'd already strategically pre-positioned a big box of Kleenex. "You're good just there, by the sofa," I smiled. "Would you like to warm her up and maybe get her naked when you're both ready?" I asked politely and then just sat back to watch the show.