Born in Simi Valley, California, John Newton attended twelve different schools until he finally got it right and graduated from a high school on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus. The Cypriots soon realized it was in their national interest to ship John back to the United States. He meandered through college until the administration bribed him to leave with two apparently contradictory degrees: theology and electrical engineering. He is currently working as an electrical engineer, robotics programmer, landlord, part-time farmer, and father of seven. Sometimes he even writes a thing or two.