A tongue-in-cheek handbook tie-in to the FX animated show Archer in the irreverent style of the show—written by Sterling Archer, Master Spy, himself on how to be a killer agent: what to wear, drink, smoke, how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men), hand-to-hand combat, weapons, devices, and, of course, defeating the enemy. Makes a great gift for the pop culture enthusiast.

Lying is like 95% of what I do. But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer.

I know, I know, it sucks not being me.

But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.